Do you know who decides what happens to your body when you die?

When you die, someone has to decide what to do about the disposition of your remains (i.e., whether you are buried, cremated, or some other option).  You can make the decision while you are alive, but you need to do it in a way that conforms to Washington state law or your instructions might be ignored.

There is one caveat to your control over the disposition of your remains.

One way to make your wishes known is to simply put them into writing.  A written document setting out your “wishes regarding the place or method of disposition” of your remains that you sign in front of a witness (who should also sign the document) is all that is necessary (this document is often referred to as your “burial instructions”).  Your burial instructions should also designate the person who is to carry out your instructions.  You can also just name the person to make the arrangements for your remains, but leave all of the specifics to that person.

Another way you can put your wishes into place is to make arrangements for the disposition of your remains with a “licensed funeral establishment or cemetery authority.”  You can prepay for the arrangements, but simply having your plan on file with the organization is enough to make your plan binding on everyone else (although your survivors can make minor changes to the arrangements that you’ve specified).

There is one caveat to your control over the disposition of your remains.  If the cost of carrying out your written burial instructions or the non-prepaid arrangements you’ve made with the funeral home or cemetery “exceeds a reasonable amount” (the statute doesn’t define what a “reasonable amount” is), your plan or arrangements can be overridden by the person you’ve named in your burial instructions, or if you haven’t designated such a person, the persons named in state statutes to make decision about your remains.

So, who are the people who decide what to do with your remains if you haven’t put a binding plan in place?  If you are serving in the military, the first person on the list is the one you designated on Department of Defense form 93.  The rest of the list (in order of authority) is: (1) the person you designated in your burial instructions, (2) your surviving spouse or registered domestic partner, (3) the majority of your surviving adult children, (4) your surviving parents, (5) the majority of your surviving siblings, or (6) a court-appointed guardian for the person at the time of your death.  It is important to note that the person or persons who gets to decide about the disposition of your remains also has a duty to pay for that service, but they can ask your estate to reimburse them for that cost.

While you don’t have to prepare a set of burial instructions, there are two reasons you might consider drawing up a set.  The first reason is that you want everyone to know exactly what you want to be done with your remains.  The second reason is that you want someone other than the person listed in the state statutes to make the arrangements for you.  Regardless of why you choose to have a set of burial instructions, they give you ultimate control over what happens to your remains.